I thought these images were pretty sweet. I was on www.unkle.com, check it out. I would love to paint my body like that and dance like a snake...haha maybe in another life.
Moving on, so I woke up to morning and did some homework and then I went back to sleep...I'm bizarre like that but I passed out for 3 hours and had the most vivid dreams. I won't bore you with explaining the insanities of dreams...because lets face it dreams are only interesting to the person who has them. So, I was rollerblading with Mochi near a cliff (in my dream)and there was a line of people disappearing down. I thought perhaps people were rolling down a hill off this cliff...it seemed fun, so I went for it and at the very edge I saw that everyone had jumped into a large body of water, so blue and white with the splashes. I just went for it and it felt so real just free falling into water. Now it's a dream...so of course...i could NOT swim, but I knew I was going to be ok...even though mind you I had rollerblades on my feet that would totally sink me. Mochi's ears were flapping in the wind going down and when we landed in the water I grabbed her and mentally told her "Hold your breath!" and we kept sinking and sinking and I couldn't feel the bottom. I was worried but I held my breath for it felt like a really long time and then we resurfaced and we were both fine. I wonder if Mochi ever has dreams about me...like me walking her or petting her....haha! or maybe they are more vivid like mine, like she's flying or something...
So I was wondering if anyone else goes through this, but some phases in the day when you just cry because your sad? I mean...it could be about anything but it's really random. Yesterday I was thinking all kinds of stuff...I'm not good enough, I'm so fat, does he still love me because I'm so emotional. I mean obviously it passed and I just needed to stop thinking about it. When I was walking home from the train I saw a couple on the bridge and he had his arm around her waist and I thought of Ryan. Then I saw him walking up the bridge to meet me because he was worried since I wasn't home right away. It was a really great feeling and all those doubts went away. But I hate when they creep up on me...uninvited...sometimes its best not to act on those feelings...just let them go away. I'm sure others have those weird moments right?
To the last paragraph: Yes. I have found it's always best to just get up and start doing something, turn on the TV or whatever. It's times like that I feel like I'm going crazy cause I start to get this crazy, suffocating feeling of desperation, but I think we all have those brief breaks with reality where all our insecurities come crashing through.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have to disagree and say if you're giong to have a low, have a fucking low. I did that in early May - consumed almost two bottles of wine by myself, listened to Amy Winehouse, and then bawled while watching Sideways. I think it freaked my friend Alex out, but ever since I have been having nothing but kick-ass times.
ReplyDeleteAlso those images are fantastic.
To amygdalae: Yes, I agree that we get a little mentally insane and just need to brush it aside. P.s. Do I know you? If not...how did you find me...just curious. :)
ReplyDeleteTo Maggie: I also agree with you that sometimes all you need is a good cry, but I don't think I could be depressed for much longer than a week and sometimes drinking your problems away just feels damn good...at the time and never the morning after but still it feels right. I think this year has been amazing so far, so I just have to keep reminding myself how lucky I am.